|
goto page | next >>
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Author | Message | |||||||||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
 Post subject: a moral issue.Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 8:31 am 
Please read this before voting. And please, tell me why. A vote and no reason is almost as useless as nothing at all for me, in this case. The situation's just too complicated. If my source is correct, which is someone who is reliably unbias and in whom I can trust with this sort of situation, I am in a moral quandry (if that is the correct term). First off, I think it may help to give some background info: *I am mates with all of the people involved with this. *There are two closer friendship groups in this, although we all get on well. *It is near the end of the school term and thus tensions are high. *I used to get on with person A, quite well infact. We used to have debates, beer in one hand, curry in other. He used to be a heavy drug user (herion being his main fix). I'm not saying the drugs have a part of this, but I'm saying his not too normal, in a not-very-nice way. The friendship broke down because we are the antithesis of eachother. * errrr, that's it. So, my source has told me that one person, who we shall name "A", is going to pay (a deal went on at lunch time. with person Z and her two close friends there. and most of the rest of the group, too. £67.50 upfront in cash was the last figure quoted [that's about 122 dollars]) another guy, person "B", to be set up with one of the slightly less nice looking females in the group, person "Z". Further, a video camera is going to be involved, it seems. I have no idea how the video camera is going to be used in this. That's all I know. As a better friend to person Z I feel I have a duty to tell her. I do not in anyway condone persons A and B's actions. In fact, I think that what they're alleged to be going to do is sick. Especially since person Z has had many many problems with her health anyways, and slightly, only slightly emotionally unstable. Should I, on the other hand, keep quiet? I don't won't to break trust between person "M" (middle of the alphabet, because he's sort of neutral [see what I did there, eh, EH?]) and myself. He would find this sort of thing rip roringly funny. He's a regular on the big, not-very-nice forums on the internet, and loves big-boys.com and Mock The Week. What should I do? Even as a Christian I'm not sure. I mean, i dunno. hm. *slightly arqward pause whilst I think*. As a Christian I suppose I believe that I should be honest and open about things, thus I should tell person Z. Further, by keeping quiet I am having as much of a stake as I would have by being actively involved. However I also sort of believe (the slightly more liberal part of my beliefs) that I should be letting them have their own way, and let anything that happens to them as a result will end. Just another thought, just now. The two groups aren't best of mates. I fear that this will further divide them and thus taint our final year of school which is next year. And knowing person Z, who reminds me of that over-reactant wife of the radio DJ in the fact that she doesn't really think things through, that gap will remain there for a while (well, I did something not as low to one of the girls in the group (person .... "Y" [that being harrasing her via text for about a month. ending our relationship, which is only now, after 3 years, starting to be made new [indeed, I am even making her laugh again. It's such a wonderful feeling!  ]]).
So, hmm. Advice would be really really welcome, as term ends next wednesday, and whatever may happen would either happen before term ends or during the summer, for which I am one of the few people who is actually going away away. _________________ She is handsome, she is pretty, she is the girl from Belfast City, she is courtin' one two three, please won't you tell me who is she? TheClassicRomance wrote: Facebook is a dirty skank blog! |
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Joined: 03 Mar 2005 | Posts: 7598 | Location: Dundee, scotland
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
    |
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Post subject: Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 9:11 am
OK, I didn't really follow most of that. Maybe you could make it a little more succinct, or something, but I think I get the general idea. First of all - of course you should tell her. For the reason why, let's examine the reasons you think you shouldn't: You don't want to break the trust between M and yourself The fact that M would find whatever-it-is hilarious to perpetrate on an emotionally unstable girl means you probably wouldn't be losing much if you lost M's friendship. I tend to stay far away from people who revel in others' misfortunes, and I'm suggesting that if you're not that kind of person, you should too. You think you should let them have their own way, and let whatever happens happen Look up 'integrity' in the dictionary, and decide if you want to have it. Sorry to be so blunt, but that kind of reasoning makes me a little sick. Some of the worst atrocities in history have been allowed to happen because of it. You think you will taint the following school year. Make no mistake, it is they who are causing the problem. By stepping in and telling her, you would be doing your best to avoid ruining the (apparently tenuous) friendships between groups. Imagine how tainted the school year would be with Z carrying around all that hurt and you carrying all that guilt because of this. My final piece of advice is for you and Z (and anyone else in this group who is halfway decent) to find some new friends; maybe some people who aren't cruel or drug abusers. And speaking of being honest - does any adult know that your friend abuses drugs? They should. The best possible thing you could do for him is tell someone so he can get some help. He would surely hate you for it in the short-term, but years from now he would thank you for it. In fact, considering that it's heroin, he may not have too many years left if you don't tell someone who can help. _________________ hello. |
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Joined: 23 Aug 2003 | Posts: 5978 | Location: Austin, Texas
Last edited by ali on Wed Jun 22, 2005 9:13 am; edited 1 time in total |
||||||||||||||||||||||||
 |
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Post subject: Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 9:11 am
gracious, friend, thats a rough situation. in my opinion, you should tell Z. the only real consequences if you do tell Z are that the boys wont get their laugh and they might be sour towards you for a bit. but as far as i can tell, you shouldnt be worrying about them being upset. they sound pretty immature. maybe you should go to A, M, B first and let them know that what theyre doing is wrong and if you cant convince them not to do it, tell them that youre planning on telling her. im sure they wont be upset about it for too long. i think if you went through all the trouble to let us all know about this, and go off worrying about it, you know what to do. what letter are you, by the way? edit: ali said everything way better than i did, and he didnt even understand you. but you have my vote anyway. |
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Joined: 09 Feb 2005 | Posts: 1275 | Location: Greenville, SC
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Post subject: Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 11:24 am
i hope it goes well _________________ It was many and many a year ago, In a kingdom by the sea |
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Joined: 20 Mar 2005 | Posts: 761 | Location: New Rochelle ,Ny
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Post subject: Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 11:36 am
My boss tried to pay me $50 to go out with one of the guys who delivers packages to our office, and I wouldn't take it. My friends all thought I was crazy but the way I look at is, I know that I'm not terribly attractive and I think I'm a person who someone might be paid to go out with. I would never forgive someone if they did this to me so I won't do it to someone else. Your friend needs to know, she may be upset at first but she'll thank you in the end. I, too hope that this works out for you. |
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Joined: 09 Apr 2005 | Posts: 1299 | Location: Huntsville, Alabama
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Post subject: Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 12:01 pm
I think you should tell her. I would feel awful if that happened to me (it would shatter my self-confidence) and I can imagine that it would really upset her. Thus I think you should tell her and I think you may end up feeling guilty and regretting it if you don't - never nice. Sorry, can't think of any better advice.  _________________ "A little less love, a little more common decency." - Kurt Vonnegut |
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Joined: 21 Aug 2003 | Posts: 5266 | Location: Ipswich, Suffolk, England
Last edited by Sprocket on Wed Jun 22, 2005 12:56 pm; edited 1 time in total |
||||||||||||||||||||||||
 |
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Post subject: Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 12:36 pm
Tell Z, because it's the right thing to do. There doesn't really need to be a better reason. Keeping bad things from happening to people is always good. It'll all turn out right in the end. 
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Joined: 08 Jun 2005 | Posts: 206 | Location: ohio
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Post subject: Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 4:36 pm
Regardless of the consequences, being honest with friends and acquaintances at least allows you to address the situation with a clear conscience. Being "too honest" can most certainly wreck friendships, but in situations like these...sometimes I'd question whether somebody who'd try to humiliate another person for the heck of it is really a friend. _________________ Believe/Verim VK #16/SM |
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Joined: 21 Jun 2005 | Posts: 121 | Location: Saline, Michigan
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Post subject: Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 4:41 pm
I also feel that it is a good idea to tell person Z. Whatever is being planned by A and B, cannot be a good thing. _________________ Thistledown |
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Joined: 01 Mar 2005 | Posts: 4657 | Location: Melton Mowbray Pork Pie
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Post subject: Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 6:08 pm
Tell person Z. It's the right thing. You don't know how this situation will end up but it could be devastating for Z and if she truly is a good friend who has done no wrong she deserves to know. I agree that the perpetrators of the stunt sound very immature and you might want to evaluate those friendships. I'd like the one "no" vote to explain their reasoning. I'm interested. _________________ -Brooke |
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Joined: 14 Dec 2004 | Posts: 1141 | Location: Utah/Hawaii
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Post subject: Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 3:29 am
presidentofantarctica wrote: Tell Z, because it's the right thing to do. There doesn't really need to be a better reason. Keeping bad things from happening to people is always good. It'll all turn out right in the end. Thats in in a nutshell. True justice is doing the right thing merely because its the right thing-not because of any kudos you might recieve or fear of taunts you may recieve. As a person heavily teased in grammar school(for no other reason other than I wasn't as rich as the other kids and I kept to myself writing and drawing)I still remember a person who stood up for me simply because it was the right thing. Angela you are awesome! _________________ And I'll be there inside you,when you need to feel the warmth From the love I'll light inside you when the world gets cold and dark -me |
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Joined: 19 Jun 2005 | Posts: 18 | Location: Chicago,IL
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Post subject: Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 3:45 am
§ i agree with ev'ryone who voted yes... above all else, it's the right thing to do... i remember being new kid in town in 5th grade... all these kids were picking on and making fun of some kid who was claiming his model rocket could fly to space  ... i stuck for him, telling them to knock it off and leave him alone... now, i earned a new friend in this kid, and at least a dozen enemies who picked on me fer the next 6 years, by doing this... and it was all worth it... wish i had someone to stick up fer me when i was a kid... anyhoo, what i'm saying is friend "z" deserves to know, regardless of the aftershocks... friends "a, b, and m", aren't really worth having as friends, just my 2¢... hope all goes well ... § _________________ life is short, keep it somple... |
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Joined: 20 Feb 2005 | Posts: 687 | Location: Ojai, Valley of the Arcane, Ca, USA
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Post subject: Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 3:47 am
Tell her. That is really messed up man. And letting them do it is just the same as holding the camera or doing it yourself. I wouldnt want something like that on my head. _________________ 
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Joined: 09 Oct 2003 | Posts: 2328 | Location: Lala land
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
 |
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Post subject: Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 7:38 am
ali wrote: You think you will taint the following school year. Make no mistake, it is they who are causing the problem. By stepping in and telling her, you would be doing your best to avoid ruining the (apparently tenuous) friendships between groups. Imagine how tainted the school year would be with Z carrying around all that hurt and you carrying all that guilt because of this. I obviously didn't explain that very well. I meant to say the exact opposite of what you have taken me to mean. That is, I think that what A and B is planning would ruin, if not the start of sixth year, but a large majority of it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------- lloydobler wrote: gracious, friend, thats a rough situation. in my opinion, you should tell Z.
the only real consequences if you do tell Z are that the boys wont get their laugh and they might be sour towards you for a bit. but as far as i can tell, you shouldnt be worrying about them being upset. they sound pretty immature. maybe you should go to A, M, B first and let them know that what theyre doing is wrong and if you cant convince them not to do it, tell them that youre planning on telling her. im sure they wont be upset about it for too long. i think if you went through all the trouble to let us all know about this, and go off worrying about it, you know what to do. what letter are you, by the way? edit: ali said everything way better than i did, and he didnt even understand you. but you have my vote anyway. As I note later, they are actually pretty good friends. It's just a few things that bug me, which I tell them about. But I see what you mean. As for what letter I am. Well, I'm fairly neutral [indeed, I've had to break up fights before. Tricky job, but it has to be done by someone], so I could either be a number, (i think 1 suits me!), or "n", or "O". I like the idea of making a referendum, so to speak, with A and B. It would also give me a chance to get my facts right, even though they may lie about it. But it's also worth a try. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------- Sprocket wrote: Sorry, can't think of any better advice. Either way, thankyou. You took the effort to help, for which I am grateful. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------- cryptictonight wrote: I agree that the perpetrators of the stunt sound very immature and you might want to evaluate those friendships. I'd like the one "no" vote to explain their reasoning. I'm interested. They are immature, and have evaluated them. Indeed, I left my whole inner ring for about a year because I couldn't stand them. They're actually the best friends I have (OK, second best, once you take into account my out of school friends). maybe I should re-evaluate them? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------- Shain wrote: Tell her.
That is really messed up man. And letting them do it is just the same as holding the camera or doing it yourself. I wouldnt want something like that on my head. exactly my thinking, Shain. A story of an independant all girls story comes to mind: a fight ensued between two of the girls, and a ring of people grew around them. The whole thing was caught on CCTV. The two girls were expelled, and those girls who were easily recognisable from the camera were suspended, even the ones standing at the back not jeering (or cheering). The parents complained, but the school maintained that because they were standing there, rather than getting a teacher, they were just as responsible as the two who actually fought. So, yes, I agree, thankyou. _________________ She is handsome, she is pretty, she is the girl from Belfast City, she is courtin' one two three, please won't you tell me who is she? TheClassicRomance wrote: Facebook is a dirty skank blog! |
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Joined: 03 Mar 2005 | Posts: 7598 | Location: Dundee, scotland
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Post subject: Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 4:39 am
hell yes....tell her. that is sick. what are you thinking? not only from a variety of world religions would commend that, i mean...just in general, it just wouldnt be right to let this happen if you are able to prevent it. europe's tough huh? i travel a lot and when i go to the airports in amsterdam, frankfurt or paris i always see topless girls in mags so normally....later, a 4 yr old boy passes by and sees it. or even a girl. thats crazy to me. or that prostitution is legal in some places. i hope that these things dont affect society so much in negative ways, if the people are good to begin with i suppose these things are ignored, and im sure youre the latter. not to get off topic...i hope "Z" will be all right. and remember, she is your friend after all and she seems like a better person than the others. find a new group of friends....friendships should never raise up terrible situations like this. thats probably what u know somethings not right. the hardest part is in the beginning when u let go, but after that it's all smooth sailing. |
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Joined: 05 Mar 2004 | Posts: 1588 | Location: texas
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Laughing City Forum Index -> General -> a moral issue.
Page 1 of 2 goto page | next >>
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum |
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
All times are GMT - 12 Hours
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
